Ruby Fountain

In the cold and in the dark

There I am, alone, and shivering

Holding my very life in icy hands

I wish I could live inside of her

I wish I could sleep where she is

I wish I could bathe in her ruby fountain

In the heat and in the light

There she is, surrounded, and smiling

Holding my very life in warm hands

She wishes I would just go away

She wishes she could forget my face

She wishes I would bathe in her ruby fountain

In the smoke and in the fog

There he is, buried, and decaying

Holding her very life in rotten hands

He wished she would have lived inside him

He wished she would have forgotten my face

He finally drowned in her ruby fountain

In the ground and in the sky

There she is, lonely, and crying

Holding his very life in boney hands

She wishes he would just burn up

She wishes I would just go away

She wishes she could drown in her ruby fountain

In the day and in the night

There I am, surrounded, and crying

Holding her very life in withered hands

I wish she would just go away

I wish she would forget my face

I wish I could drown in her ruby fountain

De Floev (The Flower), In Waldian with English Translation.

De floev hoebe iin moz hjafrijnje fleijd

Ond igh wool zoot doek ond rjekke ejd

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk int'klaadjen zjer

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk doek doth rjekke'r

Loev mau loev

Min, igh vilsk makh zjer

De floev hoebe doenshhaed dette h'spike

Ond igh jerne vilsk zoot zjezh zvaet smaake

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk int'klaadjen zjer

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk doek doth rjekke'r

Loev mau loev

Min, igh vilsk makh zjer

De floev, zje en iin vaerth hoev, dohd't ghroo't

Ond dii Hoev'iir aelbael zawgh't zoot migh voe't

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk int'klaadjen zjer

Loev mau loev

Igh vilsk doek doth rjekke'r

Loev mau loev

Min, igh vilsk makh zjer

ENGLISH: 

The flower has such a pretty little dress

And I wish I could find out what it smells like

Petal by petal

I'll strip them away

Petal by petal

I will take her scent

Petal by petal

I'll make her mine

The flower is such a wonderful dancer

I'd love to taste her sweat

Petal by petal

I'll strip them away

Petal by petal

I will take her scent

Petal by petal

I'll make her mine

The flower, she grew up in a far away garden

And the gardener always told me to go away

Petal by petal

I'll strip them away

Petal by petal

I will take her scent

Petal by petal

I'll make her mine

Piano

Piano, bring back the man I used to know

Piano, show me again that wondrous woman in blue

The music she made; I foolishly thought was for me

Piano, bring a smile back to my tired lips

Piano, bring some life back in my fingertips

The life has gone out; and my eyes do not see

Piano, remind me of those days when I was strong

Piano, remind me of when the minutes were long

The smile I gave her; and she gave it back to me

Piano, I know now that she loved you

Piano, I know she would have died for you

The magic that bled from you; it came with a fee

Piano, you know the words she said to me

Piano, you know the songs she played for me

The moments we shared in the brief concert

Piano, you know how sweetly she sang

Piano, you know how beautifully she played,

The end was so long ago; of that wondrous symphony

Piano, keep her safe, keep her heart light

Piano, keep her joyful, keep her eyes bright

The moments we shared; close to her heart

Piano, I want nothing from you; but a promise

Piano, as you remind me of her, remind her of me

Fistfuls of Gold

Hush now, Cäzilia and don't you cry

Hush now, No one will ever know why

Hush now, Cäzilia and don't you cry

Hush now, in the dark you don't know who're lying by

The smoke rises slowly

Mystery shrouds wholly

Hush now, Cäzilia you're not alone anymore

You're past the threshold of that frosty door

Hush now, Cäzilia you're not alone anymore

You've been baptized in the angst of the gore

So take your fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold

So take your fistfuls of gold!

Hush now, Cäzilia and don't you cry

Hush now, let your little eyes dry

Hush now, Cäzilia and don't you cry

Hush now, let your little voice ring out high

The white, white snows mutes the fear

Lifeless eyes won't shed a tear

Hush now, Cäzilia you're not alone anymore

Things will never be as the were before

Hush now, Cäzilia you're not alone anymore

You've been touched down in your core

Ghosts don't need to eat bread

Ghosts don't need to be warm

Ghosts don't need to drink wine

Ghosts aren't afraid of the storm

So take your fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold

So take your fistfuls of gold!

So take your fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold!

Fistfuls of gold

So take your fistfuls of gold
Pay the Ferryman!
Pay the Ferryman!

Pay the Ferryman!

So take your fistfuls of gold

Lu (We Are)

Tu e ba. The sky, it dances

Tu e ma. The sky, it sings

Ha e ba. The world, it dances

Ha e ma. The world, it sings

Vo o ba. I am the dancer

Vo o ma. I am the singer.

Vo o tu. I am the sky

Vo o ha. I am the world

En mo ba. They are dancing

En mo ma. They are singing

En mo tu. They are the sky

En mo ha. They are the world

Gu en ba. The clouds, they dance

Gu en ma. The clouds, they sing

Hen en ba. The rains, they dance

Hen en ma. The rains, they sing

Vo o ba. I am the dancer

Vo o ma. I am singer

Vo o gu. I am the clouds

Vo o hen. I am the rain.

En mo ba. They are dancing

En mo ma. They are singing

En mo gu. They are the clouds

En mo hen. They are the rain

Bu e ba. That tree, it dances

Bu e ma. That tree, it sings

Va e ba. That rock, it dances

Va e ma. That rock, it sings

Vo o ba. I am the dancer

Vo o ma. I am the singer.

Vo o bu. I am that tree

Vo o va. I am at rock

En mo ba. They are dancing

En mo ma. They are singing

En mo bu. They are those threes

En mo va. They are those rocks

Lu mo tu. We are the sky

Lu mo ha. We are the world

Lu o ba. We are the dancers

Lu o ma. We are the singers

Lu mo gu. We are the clouds

Lu mo hen. We are the rain

Lu o ba. We are the dancers

Lu o ma. We are the singers

Lu mo bu. We are those trees

Lu mo va. We are those rocks

Lu o ba. We are the dancers

Lu o ma. We are the singers

Palindrome

The old me is dead
Long live me!

Three years and three long nights
I've waited in the dark, waited for your return
Dreaming of dragons and brave knights

The old you is gone
And I love to be alone!

Hushed words and quiet glares are my memento
All I can see is what you promised you'd never show me
And now the infernal music is reaching its crescendo

The old me is dead
Long live me!

Sitting around a table, we stare into each other's eyes
Weaving new dreams with one another's thoughts
Our gaze fixed on the crystal stars in the dark sky

A new name
That's what I dream about!

I am siting on the cold ground and you're there next to me
Doing my best not to look you in your bright eyes
Keeping my head closed off, knowing things you should never see

The old me is dead
Long live me!

We're siting around a warm fire late at night
You're relighting wonder I thought gone in me
I am sobbing as you're leading me again into the light

A new name
That's what I dream about!

...If Only, If Only.

       “You look beautiful.” Arthur said, smiling, the woman, his wife, Amelia smiled and gave a little laugh. He took her hand in his, and fiddled with her wedding ring, turning it slightly to read the inscription on the band, “Dis Mîn isst Mînr ens enu Äälppathr Mant” He glanced into her green eyes, and smiled, and then leaning in he gave her a gentle kiss on her lips.
“You know, I instantly fell in love with you when the first I saw you. Your brother knew it, at first I think he meant to stop me.” He said.
“Oh? But you soon won him over with you charm and wit.” She said smiling.
“Yes, yes I did. I have a lot of those two wondrous things.” He laughed, a rich heart felt sound of joy. It was a clear mild summer day, the sun was warm and the wind was cool. The two of them sat alone on a hill crested with only a single mighty oak tree, they lay on a blanket, the remains of picnic around them. Arthur laid down on his back, his eyes turned toward the sky, his young wife lay down next to him, thrusting her small hand in his strong one. She placed her head on his chest, closing her eyes she silently listened to his heartbeat, and he gently stoked her blonde hair with his free hand.
“Do you remember what you were thinking the last time we were here?” He asked. She opened her eyes, and raised her head slightly.
“I am not really sure, I remember thinking why father gave you permission to drive me all the way out here in the middle of nowhere.” She said.
“Nothing more?” He asked, chuckling.
“Not really. Why? What were you thinking?” She asked, setting her head once again upon his chest.
“I remember thinking, did I remember the ring?”

Beatrice

Beatrice-

I wonder if you will look like your mother

Beatrice-

I want to lose myself in your sweet laughter

Beatrice-

Just hold my hand little one

Beatrice-

I know you'll be elfin

Beatrice-

You aren't lost, I just haven't found you yet

Beatrice-

My sweet one, born of the moon's silhouette

Beatrice-

Wherever you are remember that I love you

Beatrice-

Wherever you go remember that your eyes are true

Beatrice-

You aren't lost, I just haven't found you yet

Beatrice-

My sweet one, born of the moon's silhouette

Bird's Eye (Because The End Must Come)

Say what you will

Keep what you kill

Kiss what you can

Burn what you ban

Let the rain fall on your face

And never let him go

Let yourself burn in his embrace

And never let her go

Say what you will

Keep what you kill

Kiss what you can

Burn what you ban

Only the body can wither and die

Keep looking on with a bird's eye

Only the wise will stop and ask why

Keep looking on with a bird's eye

Say what you will

Keep what you kill

Kiss what you can

Burn what you ban

Let the bird fly in circles

And always remember the fire

Let the dog eat his apples

And always remember the fire

Say what you will

Keep what you kill

Kiss what you can

Burn what you ban

The day will come when you can't fly

But keep looking on with a bird's eye

The day will come when you won't rise

But keep looking on with the bird's eyes

Say what you will

Keep what you kill

Kiss what you can

Burn what you ban

AMERIKƏ

Amerikǝ, what befellest thee

From sea to shinning bloody sea?

Amerikǝ, o where art thou glorious Freedom?

In a new land thou dwellest, in a new kingdom

The sin of Sodom is rank on thy shores

Thou left thy first love to play at the whore

Amerikǝ, what befellest thee?

O thou were once the land of the Free!

Amerikǝ, o where art thou pure Liberty?

Thou hast relinquished thy rights for safety

Opulence hast made thee as fattened cattle

Thou makest with the rest of the world bloody battle

Amerikǝ, what befellest thee

From sea to shinning bloody sea?

Thy pride is undeserved

Thou didst murder and rape

Thy glory is undeserved

Thou didst destroy and take

Amerikǝ, o where art thou glorious Freedom?

In a new land thou dwellest, in a new kingdom

Wert thou verily God's chosen?

Why then didst thou this land poison?

Art thou verily Manitou's children?

Why then hast thou this land taken?

Amerikǝ, Amerikǝ, Amerikǝ

Virgin bride, fair maiden

Amerikǝ, Amerikǝ, Amerikǝ

Defiled harlot, whore-mother-queen

Amerikǝ, what befellest thee?

Heresy

From the brilliant blinding Heart of the Light

A question assails me!

From the sickly hidden Underworld of Love

A thought breaks upon me!

The angels of Heaven are looking down from Paradise

The angels of Earth are looking straight ahead at Life

The oracles of Hell are looking up at all of our Lies

From the torrential rain of Blood and Voices

A name is spoken to me!

From the hushed and sacred Halls of Death

A song is being sung to me!

The men of the Earth are wishing for a better Way

The Hand of the Gods is tightening its grip on the Sphere of Man

The men of Heaven are wishing for the New Day

From the creeping scent and filth of Man

A new Way is open to me!

From crystal Voices and stone Names

A new Language is taught to me!

Blind Angel

I've got a blind angel looking out for me,

His mind has been made up, he can only live free.

I've got a blind angel watching over me,

He can only see what he wants to see.

I've got a simple God on my side,

He hates one thing, cuts down my pride.

I've got a simple God on my side,

He called to be from beyond the divide.

I've got a pretty devil in my mind,

Tells me of all the things I wish were mine.

I've got a pretty devil in my mind,

He wishes that my angel wasn't so blind.

The Grimoire of Christ

Hope, Love, and Faith

Three names of Mystery

Sanctioned vernacular will be as your vomit

Mystical words of knowledge shall prove it

Hate, Wrath, and Taste

Three names of Heresy

These words that spill from the veins of the wicked

Are to be eschewed as the very names of the damned

Holy Father, Holy Son, and Holy Spirit

Three faces on the Godhead

Sanctified pagans shall pray to their gods of old, but with new names

Cleansed sinners shall relive their old ways, but without the old shames

Unholy Beast, Unholy Whore, Unholy Secret

Three Mouths devouring the Dead

Lucifer is siting at the Right Hand, and laughing all the while

Satan is siting on his little throne, pointing and flashing a smile

Lucifer throws off the chains of contradiction and normalcy

Jesus died to bring an end to oppression and to spread heresy

The Antichrist makes a good show of freedom

Not a soul will question his absurd little kingdom

His kingdom is great and sprawling

Divinity is the promise it is bleeding

The Antichrist makes a good game of lights

Not a soul will question why the sun is a blight

His black wings spread wide

The house is a dying divide

The House of the Lamb

There are wolves in the sheep's skin,

In the House of the Lamb!

How many more will allow in,

The House of the Lamb?

The doorposts are marked with blood,

That House of the Lamb.

It stood through that mighty flood,

That House of the Lamb.

He spoke plainly when He said,

I Am that I Am,

He raised up,

That House of the Lamb!

There are wolves in the sheep's skin,

In the House of the Lamb!

How many more will allow in,

The House of the Lamb?

There are many liars,

In the House of the Lamb.

There are little fires,

In the House of the Lamb.

The doors are strong,

The windows are great,

The halls are full of song,

The fire is warm,

In the House of the Lamb.

But there are wolves in the sheep's skin,

In the House of the Lamb!

How many more will allow in,

The House of the Lamb?

The House of Broken Hearts

Love in the first flower is strong,

Love in the first fire is sweet,

Love seems to last, last too long.

Love and pain are sisters to the core,

Love and pain are daughters of a mother-whore.

If your heart is bleeding,

If your heart is cracked,

If you heart is weeping,

Come to our House,

Come to the House of Broken Hearts.

Joy and grief go hand in hand,

All is dust, time's withering sand.

Joy and grief are thieves of reason,

Lack of feeling is a life-woeful treason.

If your heart is bleeding,

If your heart is cracked,

If you heart is weeping,

Come to our House,

Come to the House of Broken Hearts.

Happiness and despair,

Are a wretched pair,

Love is not at all fair.

If your heart is bleeding,

If your heart is cracked,

If you heart is weeping,

Come to our House,

Come to the House of Broken Hearts.

Life is said to be full of love,

And the angels weep for them above.

If your heart is bleeding,

If your heart is cracked,

If you heart is weeping,

Come to our House,

Come to the House of Broken Hearts.

Love is a bitch,

And despair is hound.

Woman is a witch,

And men need be bound.

If your heart is bleeding,

If your heart is cracked,

If you heart is weeping,

Come to our House,

Come to the House of Broken Hearts.

House Beautiful

We are the House Beautiful,

We are the house; fashionable,

We are the house; desirable.

Our skin is pink and painted,

Our love is used and tainted,

Our mother is shamed and fainted.

We are the House Beautiful,

We are the house; fashionable,

We are the house; desirable.

We see the ugliness others ignore,

We vomit at the ugliness we abhor,

We see the beauty in straight to the core.

We are the House Beautiful,

We are the house; fashionable,

We are the house; desirable.

We know you see us and lust,

We know you want us, you must,

We know we don't deserve your trust.

We are the House Beautiful,

We are the house; fashionable,

We are the house; desirable.  

House of Corpses

The door will creak slowly open,

First thing you know is the abhorrent smell,

You'll walk slowly down the hall,

You'll probably think you are found in hell.

Welcome to my house,

Welcome to our house,

Welcome to the House of Corpses.

Dead and rotten bodies line the corridors,

Blood and bile is covering the floors.

In the room at the end of the hall is the body of a bride,

In the room on the left is the groom's mistress in who he did confide.

Welcome to my house,

Welcome to our house,

Welcome to the House of Corpses.

In the room at the top of the stairs are the bodies of children,

In the room at the bottom of the stairs are bodies of old men.

The smell coming from the rooms is quite strong,

But don't worry the sense of smell won't be with you long.

Welcome to my house,

Welcome to our house,

Welcome to the House of Corpses.

Mine is the house where one does not leave,

Mine is the house in which no one can breath.

My name is older than the dirt from whence came man,

My name is so old I remember it not, God speak it if you can.

Welcome to my house,

Welcome to our house,

Welcome to the House of Corpses.

I Am Already Dead

I was drowning in my own filth; emetophilia

But you took my hand in love; philophobia

You carried me out of the land of the dead

You should have worn a crown on your head

I wish you would have ripped it out of me!

I wish you would torn it out and eaten it in front of me!

I wish you would have cut me open and set me on fire!

I am already dead, I can no longer listen

I am already dead, my secret fire is hidden

Tigress

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

Come sit next to me,

Warm me in the cold of the night.

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

Come rest with me,

Lay aside for a time your gentle might.

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

Will you keep me,

Safe in your shadow?

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

Will you lie with me,

In the warm and cool meadows?

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

What a beast, immortal or plastic,

Could have such simple beauty?

Tigress, tigress, oh tigress,

No fairer beast have I seen,

In elegance or purity,

None are like you.

Playing Cards With a Ghost

It's like a descent into madness; and I know I should be frightened. But here I stand wide-eyed and with a smile on my face.
It's like a dance barefoot on broken glass; and I know I should scream. But I twirl away humming and whispering love-songs to my partner.
It's a nightmare that will never end; and I know I should wake up. But I feel so alive again.

No one can tell me she isn't what I think she is.
No one can tell me she isn't who I think she is.
No one can tell me she isn't what I want her to be.
No one can tell me she isn't who I want her to be.

New friends are hard to come by, and my own sinister hand has overstayed his welcome.
New life is hard to find, and my own breath feels like theft.
New days come and go, and I am only left with memories to regurgitate.
New purpose comes and never comes again, and I left wondering: "What if?"

No one can tell me that she isn't real.
No one can tell me that she isn't mine.
No one can tell that she isn't alive.
No one can tell me that she isn't my friend.

It's like a disease; and I know I should be looking for a cure. But here I lie in my own vomit and blood
It's like a story with no beginning; I know I should close the book. But I cannot wait to the see the gory end.
It's a dream that has no meaning; I know I should try and interpret. But I am far too stupid to care anymore.

666 Variations on a Theme

DESPAIR IS ALIVE

LUCIFER ISN'T RISING

THE SUN IS DYING

JESUS ISN'T DYING

GOD IS A LIAR

TWELVE SONS ARE DEAD

NO ONE SEES THE TRUTH

TRINITY IS RISING

ANARCHY IS FAILING

LIBERTY IS A WHORE

EIGHTEEN OF US ARE DEAD AND GONE

THREE OUT OF ONE GODS RECOMMEND RAPE

FEAR IS LOVE

HATE IS A CHOICE

GOD FORBID A MAN FINDS LOVE

HELL IS LATER

HEAVEN IS THE GOAL

THIS IS A DREAM

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

THIS IS REALITY

THIS IS A FANTASY

I HAVE NO REMORSE

I KNOW NO REGRET

I HAVE NO PURPOSE

YOU ARE ONE OF US

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

NEVER LOOK BACK

ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORST

YOU'RE UGLY

YOU'RE UNLOVED

YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF HIM

YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF HER

EVERYONE IS COMPLETE

YOU ARE BROKEN AND UNNATURAL 

Totem

This totem of misery so familiar like my mother's womb
And this, disgusting mind I know is my solemn tomb
This withered hand, I know it is my only friend
Grasping, groping, and clawing at me until the end

Si Homo Esset Deus...

I just stood and watched as they uncovered a thousand graves
As they burned a thousand withered corpses with no names
I just stood and watched as they fell to the ground foaming at their mouths
As they were consumed in the bleakness of their own wandering doubts

The mortician, with one finger up his nose and the other on the trigger of his gun
Said to me: "Let's go down a little ways south, just you and me, and have some fun"

I just stood there as burned down a thousand churches and made love on the ashes
The noise they made, that unholy rhythm pulsating in tandem with their filthy auras
I just stood and watched as they rose from the ashes and began to swear
As they spoke the stars began to fall, led to earth by their unbridled fanfare

The mortician, with one hand on my shoulder and other holding his knife
Said to: "Why doesn't a pretty boy like you have a nice pretty wife?"

I just stood and watched as they crawled through the mud shouting obscenities
As they tried their hardest to keep a straight face as they laid ruin to cities
I just stood and watched as they spat in the face of the fallen and bruised
As they drooled over her body I knew the wolf was watching unamused

Vapor

Ever hear the story of twelve brothers with a three-headed God? No? It's an ancient story, full of love, hate, tragedy, revenge, fear, slavery, oppression, liberation, freedom, sex, rape, incest, murder, genocide, beauty, lust, joy, and sacrifice. I like to the call it the Ethereal-Vapor-We-All-Choke-On.

Have you ever tried to live in the Empire of Unspoken Words? It's a hard place to sleep. If the air doesn't kill you, the cold and the fire will. There are no drums beating in the empty ash covered streets, no heartbeat to be found in those decaying and crumbling buildings where the young go to grow old. There are streaks of red and white all over that city, and no one there knows how to dream. Like a man with one-arm there is a hunger there cannot be sated, a fury that knows no end. But still, even there, there is the ever present Vapor.

It stings and clouds, numbs and sharpens, and it is always there. Many people want to deny it's existence, but it is there. The Vapor is always seeping into every corner and saturating ever facet of reality. Like a whisper in the dark, urging men to their senses, it is always there. The Door is never closed, one simply needs to open their eyes to see it.

Shame

His face close to mine

His breath sends shivers down my spine

His eyes gaze into mine

His lips pressed against mine

His arms embrace me

His strength is beyond me

Bite the tongue that speaks lies!

Gouge out his deep dark eyes!

Break the heart that feels!

Make sure the wound never heals!

Her hand in mine

Her voice sends shivers down my spine

Her eyes gaze into mine

Her hand tightens around mine

Her hair is all around me

Her beauty is beyond me

Bite the tongue that speaks lies!

Gouge out her deep dark eyes!

Break the heart that feels!

Make sure the wound never heals!

My heart is bleeding

My soul is grieving

My mind is reeling

My hands aren't feeling

My breath isn't breathing

My shame is growing

Bite the tongue that speaks lies!

Gouge out my deep dark eyes!

Break the heart that feels!

Make sure the wound never heals!

A man had three faces. 
One that he showed to his father and his mother.
One that he showed to his sisters and brothers.
One that he showed only to his lover,
But what face does he see in the mirror?

Dark Eyes

Dark eyes are my friend

Bright eyes are all dead

No one replies to the letters I send

No one sees the tears I bled

Bright eyes are my enemy

A cold-hearted incision

Introduction to sodomy

A wholesome intrusion

Teeth bright like stars

Pale face like the grave

So raw are our scars

We were both slaves

Teeth tasting flesh

Bright eyes look away

Sleep in the tomb it's fresh

Don't forget to pray

Dark eyes are my friend

Bright eyes are all are dead

I never meant to offend

No one cared what I said

Bright eyes are my enemy

Giving way to entropy

Introduction to sodomy

No one really hears me

Teeth rotting away

Giving in to decay

Virility cannot stay

Let the weak ones obey

Teeth red with blood

Skin caught between

You're drowning in a flood

Goodbye catheter queen

Death Is A Fetish

Death is a fetish

And love is pneumatic

A death can be immortalized in silver

Our heroes drop dead like flies

And no one has a father

Death is a fetish

And charity aristocratic

A murder is turned into a circus

We create new monsters every day

And everyone stumbles in the darkness

Death is a fetish

And sanity is idiotic

A man burned at the stake is a game

We scream so loud over the din

Hoping someone will know our name

Death is a fetish

And love is pneumatic

Fika

The only infinity is death, and the only eternity is mortality

We could spend a night together and accomplish nothing

My dear sometimes nothing is it's own sweet something

Drawing gods with our tears
As demons drown in our coffee

Feeling hopelessly hopeful
As we sink into this our own eternity

Flesh rots, and skin dies
But souls and spirits live on
Loneliness of the body is brief
But hearts embrace each other in spite of the space between

We can sit in silence
Or shout as we dance

We can create a symphony

Or with colors take a chance

Speaking words no one has ever spoken
Laughing as we admit that these shapeless hearts of ours are broken

Knowing that no matter what it's all a dream

That this fable of ours is simply steam

Writing odes to madness and sonnets to insanity

Breathing comfortably in this haze

Smiling with pride at our obscurity

Wer Ist Die Metzger?

Du bist.

To Whistle and Never Blink

Death is a great waste

A waste of potential flung out of this place

Nevermore to rise and fall on the wings of grace

Grace so profound that it ever increases

Ever increasing and never ceasing taking its path with care

Reveling some hidden secrets left in a half-forgotten nightmare

Oh, let the dreary disillusion be done and never spoken of again

Until by chance a black horse galloping down from the mountains again

Some secrets should not be left to chance

Do Dead Men Grin?

I am a nut case, with an eye dangling from around my neck and the sleek shadow draped across my thick form, no one sees a clown for what he is: a manic-depressive sociopath. As I look back and reminisce of the once-was, almost a full year in the choking past, I realize it was always the quiet moments, those times when I stared dumbfounded in joy at my meant-to-be-bride. Always the times when in a joyous stupor I tripped over my words the same as a drunk trips over his own shoes. Those are the times I remember, those are the times I can still hold dear and fast to my heart. But I have to grow up.

Pounding drums won't let me sleep, but I don't want to. The moon is shinning, and she dances just for me. There was a day, a day when I hosted a ball in honor of the Fairy Queen, but there was a language barrier, even when I didn't realize it. My words ran like mud and filth, spewing like spit and spittle from my mouth, she rightly fled from me. But recently I have made new friends, friends who can speak my language without flinching, and as far as I know, they are masters of the Verse.

A long time ago I was stabbed in my heart, it was ripped out, and I bled slowly into Death's embrace. He held me so tight, and kissed me softly on my cold lips, oh how I wished we had met under better circumstances.
I am rising slowly from my grave, Lilith and Brünhilde are holding my hand, and a gelfling maid is showing me the path to Heaven. Few things seemed to make me smile when I was alive, but now that I am dead the very sunrise makes this dead man grin.

Bold words can mask weak wills.

Mantoheu, wa tsortj kitjomva wa qan watl djato tvog az.

Drums

Drums keeping pounding in my head, begging, pleading, clawing desperately in a vain attempt to wake me up. I imagine her heartbeat is like a drum, and her voice like some babbling brook. I hold the dead bundle of flesh to my chest and sob to myself, so alone, so alone. I know my heart has not beaten for far too long, I know that my voice is like a crashing wave, with neither clarity nor grace.

But still the drums keep on their pounding, I would give Skarl a kiss if I could met him. I think it's some kind of defense mechanism, self-deprecation. You can accept words of praise with a smile, but deep down you cannot let yourself truly believe the kind words others say. I imagine her eyes are like wells, doors beyond space and time, little windows wherein eternity and the unknowable knowledge can be glimpsed. I hold my cup to my lips, and turn my  nose up at the smell, but I still swallow it down, like a moth to flame, or a man to folly. But when I close my eyes and hear the drums, I can almost see her, sitting there smiling at me. I sometimes fantasize that she is the one playing the drums as I sing. Sometimes I picture her with war-paint and bright eyes, singing songs only Mother Nature can hear. Sometimes I see her in the ether, and I hope she sees me too.

The drums are like maps of the soul, explaining ever twist and turn of the human path, I think she is a totem or some shaman I have yet to meet. One day we will breathe in the smoke of the ether together, and we'll meet on the same island. We'll paint one another's faces and know that we were always the drummers.

Playing music only our hearts can keep time with, knowing no words are needed for us to understand, feeling the flow and ebb of the ether between our minds and our hearts. Spitting into wind and not caring when it slaps us in the face. Holding hands, but knowing all things pass. How we can truly say we are alive when we have never loved?

THWUMP, THWUMP, THWUMP, BWAM, THWUMP, THWUMP, THWUMP, BWAM, THWUMP, THWUMP, THWUMP! 

Play on Skarl, I am not yet done dreaming, I will hold her heart in my hands. I will know her face by memory. I will sing her voice for eternity, and I will never let the music stop ringing out into the ether.

Drums, drums in the deep.
Drums, drums, in the heights.
Drums, drums, in the day.
Drums, drums, in the night.

Twelve Reasons Life Is Worth Living

Living is
Obviously a
Very difficult
Enterprise
You sole
Obligation is
Unless you
Reserve this right
Simply to learn the
Enemy of
Life and to find the truest
Freedom, all other journeys are another path than life's

An Heartfelt Prayer For a Friend

Dear,
Enternity
Apologize
To
Her.

Butter Knife

I'll carve your eyes out with a butter knife

I'll make your useless corpse as my wife

And you'll never look at me

With shame in your eyes

And you'll never look at me

With your blood I am going to paint a portrait

And with you bones I am going to frame it

And you'll never bleed again

With pain and tears flowing

And you'll never bleed again

I am going to bite your tongue right out of your pretty little mouth

My dear our dream has taken a turn down south

And you'll never speak to me again

With guilt and shame in your voice

And you'll never speak to me again

I've carved your eyes out with my butter knife

But you still don't want to be a part of my life

You keep staring at me

With anger and indiscretion

You keep staring at me

With my tears you will grow strong

With my sobs you'll write a song

You keep screaming at me

With words I cannot understand

You keep screaming at me

You've taken my heart in your hands

You can never truly understand

You keep telling me what to do

But you don't even know me

You keep telling me what to do

Now that I've said goodbye

Please stay away......

You keep telling me what to do

But I know the truth

You can't keep telling me what to do

Repetitive Stabbing Motion

The strange thing that will tighten a man's trousers

The objects of their affection wield some baleful powers

Nubile and soft and speaking lies

Oh the filthiness buried in those pretty eyes

But here comes the first part casually ask her name

And she'll smile and giggle tell it and ask the same

Nubile and soft and oh so fearsome

No spider's bite would be so gruesome

Here comes the second part he'll ask: My place or yours?

Blinded by his eyes he can't hear the she-beast as she roars

Nubile and soft and oh so calculating

Manhood's pursuit is so emasculating

Here is the third part, furious clawing at cloth

She's the flame to his foolishly innocent moth

Like the master hunter he supposes himself to be

He makes a repetitive stabbing motion

Like the queenly whore she knows she is

She takes it all in stride as she brews her potion

Alone

I am told it is unnatural

I am told it is abominable

I am told it is unreal

Their ignorant words offer me no comfort

They do not know what it is like in my head

They do not know how much strength I exert

Just to keep my fantasies in check

And you, you just sit there and you smile at me

You have no right to make me feel this way

You just tell me how much you enjoy being around me

You have no right to make me feel this way

I hate to see the way the light dances on your skin

I hate to see the stars in your eyes, it all feels like a sin

I hate it when you laugh at the stupid jokes I make

I know if I give in, it will be my heart that will break

I am told it is unnatural

I am told it is abominable

I am told it is unreal

Their condemning eyes are not solitude

They do not know what it's like to be in my skin

They would not see the purity, and only condemn it as crude

Just to say that are cleaner in the head

And you, you just sit there innocently watching

You have no right to make me feel this way

You have done nothing wrong, but you have done something

You have no right to make me feel this way

I hate to hear your voice when there is laughter in it

I hate to see you face when there is brightness in it

I hate it when you smile back at me

I know we can never ever be

I am told it is unnatural

I am told it is abominable

I am told it is unreal

Some Things Exist (That Should Not)

A formidable enemy stares at me from the depths of this mirror. I don't like her eyes, or the sly smile she wears, but I keep coming back, and she drinks it up like it's going out of style.
There is something attractive to her in my brokenness, something alluring in my emptiness, and she knows just how to draw me back into the Temple of Shame. She is the femme in me, and she is a royal pain.

Degeneration's Perpetuation

Degeneration perpetuation

Terrible affliction, confiscation!

They'll feed you their manufactured philosophies, intravenously!

They'll line you all up in a nice little row tell you the truth, maliciously!

Degeneration perpetuation

Keeping salvation in confusion!

They don't want you to be free

They don't want you to feel

They don't want you to see

They don't want you to feel alive!

Degeneration perpetuation

A conditional destruction!

They'll force their improper propaganda down your throat!

They'll be your friend as long you don't rock their boat!

Degeneration perpetuation

For volition's obliteration!

They don't want you to breath

They don't want you to know

They don't want you to love

They don't want you to know the truth!

Degeneration perpetuation

A meaningless absolution!

They'll train you up from birth to be a good parrot!

They'll do all that they can to undermine a zealot!

Degeneration perpetuation

For volition's obliteration!

From A Dream I Had Almost A Year Ago

To bring much light, where there wad once much darkness.

To bring much comfort where there was once much pain.

To bring much love where there was once much hate.

I will fill this place with light.

Expel all darkness,

Expel all pain,

Expel all hate.

I light the path to take,

You must love the light that takes away the dark.

The light is coming.

I am the light,

I am the comfort,

I am the love.

Will you set aside evil?

Would you set aside the wicked?

If you let me,

I will be your light.

If you let me,

I'll take away the wicked,

If you let me,

Let me.

To bring much light, where there wad once much darkness.

To bring much comfort where there was once much pain.

To bring much love where there was once much hate.

I will fill this place with light.

Expel all darkness,

Expel all pain,

Expel all hate.

Will put aside the evil?

For me?

To bring much light, where there wad once much darkness.

To bring much comfort where there was once much pain.

To bring much love where there was once much hate.

I will fill this place with light.

Expel all darkness,

Expel all pain,

Expel all hate.

Òseia Lantamaraè

Òseia Lantamaraè lùsia mino'eta Soiela.

Istell'et èsuia reamà uasì lùsia.

Samaèi meno'etèi uasì ràausia.

Istell Òmeia Lantamaraè nì'uria,

èsuia sìea lùsia se slaeia pelia Meno ea rausia.

TRANSLATION:

Òseia Lantamaraè was a queen of Soiela.

Fairest of her kin she was.

Many hearts of many kings she broke.

Fair Òseia Lantamaraè never wed,

her will was too strong for any one king to break.

Helluva Girl

She's one helluva girl

And when the fit hits the shan

I'll be glad to have her at my side

Her eyes are oh so bright and clear

Her smile's oh so sweet and wide

She's one helluva girl

She's the paragon of what a woman

Ought to be and everything I need

With a gun in one hand and a hammer in the other

She knows just how to make me burn with lover's greed

She's one helluva girl

She knows just what I like

And what I didn't know I did

I was crazy before I met her

But the strings of my heart she sure as hell undid

She's one helluva girl

She knows her way around

A gun and never loses her cool

She's got diamonds to mark her territory

She's made me her blathering little fool

She's one helluva girl

We've got a crazy mad love

And we're gonna build it up

Just like that Winchester House

I don't like being a slave to anyone

But I've started my own femme worship

She's one helluva girl

And when it's been seven years to the day,

Then I'll know she is the one for me

I'll be her jester and she'll be my clown

We'll turn each other's frowns upside-down