Whip Guy

This one time I was in a novelty store,

I bought a whip for fifteen dollars,

Now,

I whip stuff!

Yeah, I whip stuff!

On the weekends I got to the park and,

Whip stuff!

I whip stuff!

Yeah, I whip stuff!

I whip stuff like trees, squirrels, and rocks,

Yeah I whip rocks.

I'm not Indiana Jones or a lion tamer,

I'm just a guy with a whip,

My name's Darryl,

I'm from accounting,

But on the weekends,

I'm whip guy!

Yeah, I whip stuff!

That's what I do with my spare time,

'Cause I'm divorced and Janice won't let me see my kids!

I whip stuff!

Yeah, I whip stuff!

I'm not Indiana Jones or a lion tamer,

I'm just a guy with a whip,

My name's Darryl,

I'm from accounting,

But on the weekends,

I'm whip guy!

Last week I went to her house,

And I whipped her boyfriend's hummer,

Yeah, I whipped it!

But it's a hummer,

So it really didn't damage it.

So I pulled out my knife and sliced his tires,

And scratched his paint,

And they called the cops,

And I whipped the cops!

I'm not Indiana Jones or a lion tamer,

I'm just a guy with a whip,

My name's Darryl,

I'm from accounting,

But on the weekends,

I'm whip guy!

I like whipping stuff,

In retrospect,

I should not have whipped the cops,

I got a five hundred dollar fine,

For whipping the cops,

I had to sell my whip.

Supervillian Song

Nobody like the monsters,

Nobody digs on the villain,

Nobody likes the creepsters.

Now I tried, tried so hard,

Tried so hard to get the girl,

Tried so hard to rule the world.

Tried so hard to win the end,

Tried so hard to find a friend.

Ya think I'm lame?

Ya think I need pity?

I got rocket boots,

A jet-black cape,

I got five gold platted battle-suits!

I robbed a bank with my telepathy,

Hey fool, I don't need your sympathy!

Ya think I'm lame?

Ya think I'm lame?

My nemesis wear his underwear on the outside,

I got self-respect, that's why I don't do the same!

Nobody like the monsters,

Nobody digs on the villain,

Nobody likes the creepsters.

Ya think I'm lame?

Ya think I'm lame?

Screw you fool!

I'll throw ya 'gainst the wall with my magnetic powers,

Hop in my jet,

Be back in my lair in a couple hours.

Ya think I'm lame?

Ya think I'm lame?

Hey fool, I'm from an alien planet,

Ya can't even begin to pronounce my name!

Ya think I'm lame?

Ya think I'm lame?

Nobody like the monsters,

Nobody digs on the villain,

Nobody likes the creepsters.

Now I tried, tried so hard,

Tried so hard to get the girl,

Tried so hard to rule the world.

Tried so hard to win the end,

Tried so hard to find a friend.

I don't need you!

I'm a supervillain,

I'm super,

Super-duper!

I don't need you!

I'm a supervillain,

I'm super,

Super-duper!

Fred the Aardark

There's an aardvark under my bed;

His name it's Fred, 

His favorite color it's red.

I once tried to make him dead,

By beating him with a pipe of lead.

 He asked where I would get such an idea,

I said it were my best friend Jed.

Once I tried to make him dead,

By suffocating him with a slice of bread.

He asked where I would get such an idea,

I said it were my uncle Ned.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By locking him in the shed,

He cried aloud,

"Man, you're loony in the head!!"

Oh Fred, where'd you come from?

Oh Fred, where ya gon'?

Oh Fred, why do I hate ya so?

Oh, Fred, did ya just eat my toe?

There's an aardvark in my closet,

He's name it's Fred,

His smell it' putrid,

His oder it's rancid.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By spilling lye on his head,

He asked why I would get such an idea,

I said were my father Ted.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By hitting his with a shoe,

Whatta expect me to do?

He replied by shouting,

"What's wrong with you?!"

Oh Fred, where'd you come from?

Oh Fred, where ya gon'?

Oh Fred, why do I hate ya so?

Oh, Fred, did ya just eat my toe?

Yes there's is an aardvark under my bed, named Fred!