Bones

We have these skeletons in our closets, I am convinced they had a pulse once. The simple questions is: what made us bury them so deep down? Shame, guilt, pain, a desire to forget? Do you sleep easier at night knowing that there is a decomposing body, just a few feet away from your bed? Does pushing it away really make it go away? Because the stink will stay with you.

All the bleach and lye in the world won't make the stains go away. A dirt that's on the inside rejects our best attempts at cleansing. And as the body slowly decays we parade around with a smile and laugh, who are we fooling? I have bones in my room, and I know you do too, and you know I do, and we know that the other knows. But the lie holds up as long as no-one reaches out, and ruins the charade for the rest of us. Because once someone admits that they've got a skeleton in their closet, it begs the question: are they the only one? And we know without a doubt, they are not.

We keep smiling, we keep searching for that miracle cleaning-product, something that will at last make us feel clean on the inside. But we're looking in the wrong places, everyone has a skeleton in their closet. So it stands to reason, that these people, who are like me, don't have the answer, they're still looking too. So where is the answer? Perhaps, it's something beyond this, maybe it is something not attached to the world of blood-stains and skeletons.

We like thinking we've done it, we pride ourselves on our cunning, on are prowess in the business of secrets. Never mind that we're dead inside, as long as no-one smells the decay, we've got out scot-free. We say to ourselves “No-one has ever kept something so dark buried so deep for so long”, well give us a medal! because we all do it. The most deadly type of disease, the most viscous breed of cancer, is the one whose existence you deny, even when it is staring you in the face.

Nothing we try can seem to get rid of this skeleton in our closet, nothing can seem to make the guilt go away, or clean up the mess. But do we really want it to go away? Like pigs that enjoy the filth, or a dog that eats up his own vomit, I think there is a part of us that likes the pain and misery, the masochist-man in us all wouldn't give up the corpse for the world. But please, let the saner side prevail, open yourself up, let the sun shine down inside you, and bring some life giving minerals to the dead, dank, and dark closet. Because I am convinced that when you reach out, others will see themselves in your plea, they'll recognize the filth that have deep down too, and maybe, just maybe then we can start seeing each other for what we really are, living breathing human being deserving of respect, and above all maybe we will begin to love one another as we love ourselves, not a bad commandment if you ask me.

So, let's exhume that body, let's not just bury the bones, let's burn them.  

Erotic

The touch of a lover is sweet

And the wings that carry away love are fleet

What is love but introspection?

A selfish act of contradiction

The eyes of a lover are warm

And the loss of love worse than a furious storm

What is despair but masturbation?

A guilty act of satisfaction

The voice of a lover is a song

And in the end everything is wrong

What is the heart but a wretched beast?

An hungry wolf ready for a feast

Love rejects the erotic in favor of Eros

Love is quiet when the mind is shouting

Love begins to fly like a sparrow

Love is strong when the mind is doubting

I Was A Boy (A Poem of Loss, Remorse, and Resolution)

I would that I could but have tasted your blood whilst we were in the steps of that furious, that carnal dance

I know this communion shall never be ours, I know this because there is no light in you, no light in your glance

I was a boy, and you were a woman, I was arrayed as a prince in my dress

I burst forth, and you hid, you fled, and all you emotions did repress

I would that our eyes had met, and in that one simple moment our two beating hearts would have been seared

I know that this creation will never be ours, I know now what it was that I feared

I was a dog, and you were a queen, resplendent in your glory

I grovelled and you grinned, laughed at my appearance; gory

I would that we had fallen into the fire of our own making, and would have in its warm embrace burned together

I would that we had bled, had cried that our bond had been made crystal, had been made stone forever and ever

I know that this joy will never shared, I know now that it is meant, ordained to be over

I was a lover, and you were a prize, I became arrogant in my pride

I wanted you to be, I wished for you to be forever at my side

I was a boy, and you were a woman, I played the man, strong and firm

I spoke as a man, stood as a man, but I was not a man, I did not learn

I would that I could see you face again, feel you hand in mine, hear you soft voice

I know when I do, sorrow will make a nest in my heart, it is done, I made my choice

I would that I had felt your heart beat, felt the breath of your mouth, and wiped away your tears

I know now that I never had what I thought, I know now your breath was as a vapor, all my fears

I would that I had never said what I said an hundred times

I know that I will never be tried of these, my crimes

I would that I receded into the black, and stayed away

I know that I could not have, I had to stand and face the day

I would that I was only ever your friend, only ever a brother

I know that the pain will find me, if ever you find another

I would that you were ever only my friend, only ever a sister

I know the blood will burn me, if ever I find another

I would that I never did dedicate my writ

I know now that my name is only ever as spit

I would that my infernal passion was not of flesh and blood

I know now that all my work, my effort should be thrown in the mud

I would that we stay as companions

I know that gone are the old affections

I would that could we laugh and talk

I know that we will never again walk

I would that we be glad in this all

I know I shall need to pick myself up, for again I fall

Die Rosa Teufel (The Pink Devil)

“Ich bin die rosa Teufel.”

I was bitten by an evil snake

I was lost in the bloody seas of heart-break

“Ich bin die rosa Teufel.”

I was eaten by an hungry dog

I was lost amid the acrid fog

“Ich bin die rosa Teufel.”

I was flying with the devil in the moonlight

I was lost in all the stars not a victim of fright

“Ich bin die rosa Teufel.”

I was bitten by an evil snake

I was lost in the bloody seas of heart-break

Stop Calling Here

Haven't I told you once? More like a thousand. What syllable of the word FINISHED are you having trouble processing? You like it when I feel dirty, yes I've seen the look in your sick perverted eyes, the instant the deed is done; irrevocable, you start bleeding that smile of satisfaction. I think you get off on this cycle of misery. I shouldn't be surprised, because, I like it too. In a twisted sense of what's good and what's not, I like the feel of you on my skin. I like the way you slither in and out of me, it feels good to know there's nothing she can do about. It feels good to know that if she knew, she would feel better about the way we left. But I've told you a thousand times, and a thousand more, I am not dancing with you anymore.

Do you think you can drag me under again, and again, how long until I become a household name down there? Once I am welcome, I am a pariah. Drained, wasted, used up husk, tossed aside, to make room for the next John to waltz in and take his place. You think I don't know you keep trophies? I am like you, and let me tell you I've got my share of scars. But this is one scalp that you won't wear proudly. This is one face that won't grin out from your tzompantli. This is one man who won't stand at attention, or salute when your banner goes by.

But you still make you pitch, hawking your wares as hard as ever. Boasting about the quality of your goods, proclaiming the wonder of the two-for-one sale! A little guilt goes a long way. I am all out of your currency, a clean pair of pants is what I need most, and what you got, the missus won't have. It's funny how you can twist words so easily, twisting steel should be easier than turning truths on their heads. Beauty used to mean something, purity used to be worth more than your greasy bank-notes.

You're broken and you've lost, and what's worse, you know it. Like a man convinced that he can you fly, you'll keep jumping of the building. But when I look into your eyes, God help me, it's her eyes staring back at me, full of tears. Strange how the thought of the dead inspires a will to live, rather a desire to join them in sleep. I think you'll never really understand that fact.

And this is why you will fail, again and again. You may have skin, you may have blood, you may know how to grind and what to say. You may know the ropes, you may have the right shape, but you'll never have heart. You'll never know that most impressively erotic design; purity. You can't fathom a world without dirt. The very idea of people serving one another for no other reason than because they have more to give, is the mystery of all mysteries to you. The very act of life, the essential element of the beating heart is the antithesis of what you've built your empire on.

There is a name so wonderful, the very sound of it would blind you. There is a word that sparked the worlds, and you've drug it down to your level, the level of beasts, and you've covered it all in your smut and filthiness. But I am taking it back, and putting her were she belongs, on a throne of roses, under the sun, on summer day, she's a queen with no kingdom, she's a queen with no need for a king, and her name is: LOVE.

Consider This

Consider this a fable: I was lying on the floor, coughing from the smoke and haze. The house was on fire. Let's try and forget that it was me who started the fire, and let's forget that is was also me who locked the door. Let's pretend I never shouted up at You: “I give up!”. Let's pretend these burns of mine were not self-inflicted, let's say someone else is to blame for my disfiguring wounds. I can't look myself in the eye anymore, what a demonic and twisted dichotomy I am; victim, and rapist.

But let's remember that it was You who pulled me out of the burning house. Let's make a note that it was You who never gave up on me. Let's commit it to memory that You are the one who still thinks I am beautiful. I'll never know how You can look at me, stains on my pants, and see someone who is worth anything, someone who is pure and innocent.

Now it's true, my lungs still ache, and it's true these scars will remain, but You don't care, I am still as beautiful as ever, in Your eyes. I think you must have pulled me out for a reason. What is it You see in me? You must see something. Is it pride to wonder what? I'll never understand the depth of Your feelings for me. And I don't think I need to know the extent of love You have for me. I just need to remember it's there, and it is deeper than I can ever know.

It is a strange thing to be loved so completely, and yet.....I don't even know your name. I have never seen Your face, or...have I, and I just didn't know it was You?

Is is true that You are in rain and in the sunlight? Are You really found in the kind words between friends? I think maybe I have seen You after all.

Once upon a time, You were only as real as she was. I saw Your love in her eyes, and I heard Your name when she spoke. I think this was true, and at the same time, I know it was a mistake. You see, she didn't know what I saw in her, she didn't realize she was my only link to seeing a real life angel. She could have never guessed the divine impact she would have on me. I know that You did, I think You brought her around on purpose, so I would stop praying and actually begin to have a conversation with You.

Because when You become real to someone, they wake up. They stop driving the nails into their own eyes. Because when You become real to someone, they stop running. They stop crying to the sky, “I give up!”. They know deep that down that You've always been real, and they were just blind. But You won't force Yourself down anyone's throat, You wait for them to finally see You for the first time.

Consider this a revision: My life was on a path of purpose, picket-fence, hopes and dreams. And now, after I burned down that house, not a single blade of grass is growing. I've been wallowing in the tear soaked ashes like a schizophrenic hog, eager to relive old pains. But as always, You picked me up, and dusted me off. I wish I could see the purpose You've set in me. I wish I could see the man You love, but after all, I can't look in the mirror anymore, I am repulsed by that pig staring back, I am afraid of the memories so fresh, so sweet, so dangerous. You could have left me to die, hell, I asked You to leave to me to die. But You just couldn't let me wither away into nothing; because I know You made me to be something. And now, at this point, I am a wide-eyed little child holding Your hand as You whisper: “Everything is going to be alright.”

Sincerely (P.S. The Old Man Is Dead)

I sign this in your blood,

Sincerely!

I sign this with your tears

Sincerely!

I never really needed you

Sincerely!

I never really loved you

Sincerely!

In the dead of night you crept into my room

With meticulous care drove your fingers into my eyes

In the dead of night you stalked into my mind

With malicious delight sharpened your daggers and knives

I'll sign this in your bile

Sincerely!

I'll sign this with a smile

Sincerely!

I never really knew your name

Sincerely!

I never really gave into the shame

Sincerely!

In the lonely hours of my day, you caught my eye

With perverted style you danced so wildly for me

In the lonely hours of my day, you shouted at my face

With viscous betrayal you uncovered the false me

I'll sign this in my own blood

Sincerely!

I'll sign this with my own tears

Sincerely!

I will never love you again

Sincerely!

I will never need you again

Sincerely, Novum Hominis

St. Andrew (The Truthful Hero)

A woman that I loved

Once spoke to me of a man that spoke with a voice of thunder, a prophet, a poet

A man who saw the broken and dying world and tried with what he had to restore it

I have heard his words now, and I know the power that flows like blood in them

I have heard his voice now, and I know the life that beats like a heart in it

I have read his words now, and I know the truth that is bleeding out from them

I have read his fury now, and I know the convictions and freedom in it

A man who spun words like gold wire and spat them forth like a dragon in a rage

A man who would not remain silent when lies were on the throne of men's minds

A man who saw what society has given us, the lie we're born into; an old rusty cage

A man who spoke with the conviction of truth, a man who saw black lines clearly deifned

His words, his writ, have awoken my soul and set fire to my mind

His force, his truth, have set me on a path to find my own voice

His skill, his craft, has opened the doors of wonder and stopped time

His reason, his motives, have caused me to make a hard choice

The ferocity of truth is a fire in his eyes, his legacy, just like Weyland's iron

The sting of the spirit is on his tongue, his art, is like a bright wordsome lantern

An image of the Divine rests in his writ

The image of the Almighty is seeping from his furious words

An image of the Worthy lies in his wit

The image of Reality is flowing from his metallic-heated voice

Unknowingly perhaps, set to inspire a new breed, a new race

Unknowingly perhaps, breathing into the dead a breath of life

Unknowingly perhaps, erasing these tears from my tired face

Unknowingly perhaps, pointing to the image of Love and Life

I wish to make it known, here and now

That this man is in the image of the Savior 

I wish to make it known, here and now

That this man is a bane of terror

I wish to make it known, here and now

That this man is a blood-covered-brother; a truthful hero!

In Her Face

Life is the prologue to death

We love, so we can feel the emptiness

Our hearts beat so, we can bleed

Our tongues taste, so we will feed

Our eyes see, so we can look away

Our legs are strong, so we will stay

We say hello, so we can say goodbye

We laugh, so we can start to cry

I will cut myself, stain myself love-red

I will say the words that my heart has bled

I will spit, I will laugh in her face

I will exalt, and put God in His place

Between Teeth (Like A Snowstorm)

Gripped between his teeth

(And he knows)

Gripped between her teeth

(And she knows)

Gripped between their teeth

(And they know....they know)

Gripped between his teeth

It's a strand of hair

Gripped between her teeth

Is an old rusty nail, nine inches in and counting

Now they reminisce of days gone by, and they know

They are so afraid of the past, buried it all in snow

Gripped between her teeth

It flares up like a star on fire

Gripped between my teeth

It's her sweet tongue, I bite it off

And swallow it down, the words she said

They're all mine now

And I know...I know I'll never come home again now

I think deep down I am afraid of the past, falling snow

Gripped between his teeth

(And he knows)

Gripped between her teeth

(And she knows)

Gripped between their teeth

(And they know....they know)

And gripped between her teeth

It's my eye, I can't see anything that's worth seeing now

And gripped between my teeth

It's her lips, I think they taste like lies and I don't need that now

All Moments Are Weak

A filth you cannot scrub clean
A dirtiness that sticks with you
A nasty clinging reminder deep inside
Always whispering that awful truth
Never letting you forget that......
YOU ARE DISGUSTING

A scum that you smear on yourself
A self-loathing you could have avoided
A kind of ache that won't let you sleep
Always whispering that awful truth
Never letting you forget that......
YOU ARE DYING

Gods Of This Age

We are the gods of this age

We are the idols of flesh and bone

Cast down the ancient order in rage

Destroy the old symbols of iron and stone

The world can burn down around us

No one will speak our secret name

The world can descend down from us

No one will look at our naked shame

We are the gods of this age

The idols of muscle and sinew

Flee from you rusted cage

There is nothing not one thing new

We the gods of this new age

We are the idols of sex and love

You are all so decadent in auto-phage

You never look up, look up above

The world can sink down in the mud

No one will spill our sacred blood

The world can sink down in the flood

No one will ask us for a taste of blood

We are the gods of this age

We are the idols of flesh and bone

Cast down the ancient order in rage

Destroy the old symbols of iron and stone

The old gods left you all cold

The old gods were never bold

The old gods didn't know you name

The old gods gazed wide-eyed at your shame.

The old gods took away your purity

The old gods marketed your beauty

We are the gods of this age

We are the idols of flesh and bone

Cast down the ancient order in rage

Destroy the old symbols of iron and stone

God Is Dead

I was a wolf in sheep's clothing

I was a psycho deep in self-loathing

A man of God; I never was

A man of Sin; I always was

But, God is dead now, because we killed Him

Our world is being torn apart on a twisted whim!

I was a fiery serpent with wings

I was alive with death's sting

A man of Reason; I never was

A man tormented: I always was

But, God is dead now, because we didn't need Him

Our world is being destroyed; meticulously made grim!

I was masquerading as a man of purpose

I was play-acting a man without darkness

But, God is dead now, because we didn't want Him anymore

Our world is slaughtered, bathed, washed, showered in gore!

Bled Dry

DEFILED!

Your skin was smooth

But now it is scarred

Your eyes were bright

But I've put them in a jar

Your dress was white

But now it is covered in blood

Your name was beautiful

But now it is simply mud

I've been bled dry

Why should you remember

Why would you cry?

REJECTED!

I gave my heart away,

But you threw it back at me

I dedicated my words to you

But you spit on them and laughed at me

I tore out my eyes

And tried to see through yours

I destroyed my own mind

And tried to understand yours

I've been bled dry

Why should you remember,

Why would you cry?

IGNORED!

I have cried out with my voice

And you shut yourself up to me

I have bled rivers for you

And you only looked away

I tried to wear your skin

You screamed and fled from me

I tried to think your thoughts

But you became angry and hated me

I've been bled dry

Why should you remember

Why would you cry?

Memento Mortem (Remember Death)

I am confronted daily by a grinning dead face. I am made to lust every morning by a lewdly dancing corpse, that whispers; Remember.
She likes to make me bleed myself from the arms she can't touch. She likes to bore deep into my eyes and make a nest in my rotting mind.
When I see her, I always foolishly think she is a symbol of my one time innocence. She was pure once, but now no longer can I exalt her above my own flesh.
When I see her, even in the deathly representation I see her in now, I smile briefly, she was beautiful once, but now no longer can I see it for what it was.
A beast does not remember, a beast is not troubled by evil. So if man is a beast why I am tormented this way?

My love she was, in all her pure beauty

But no longer now exalted above the flesh

She's like a caged bird in my mind

A painful memento of times long dead

Repulsed by own my thoughts of what she could be

If she only knew the depths of this depravity

I stare into a broken mirror and her face is all I see

Rivers of blood rain down from my eyes

Memento Mortem is screaming, screaming back at me

My light in the dark she used to be

But no longer now held above the abyss

She's like stolen secret pleasure for my sickness

A tormenting memory of when I smiled

Disgusted by my own impulses driven by her name

If she only knew what she did to me, she would hide in shame

I stare into a broken mirror and her face is all I see

Rivers of blood rain down from my eyes

Memento Mortem is screaming, screaming back at me

My music she used draw it from me

But no longer now dancing in the dark

She's like a lie that is told for a laugh

A half forgotten blood-stained photograph

Infuriated by my own ideas of what this life was meant to be

If she only knew what she meant to me, she'd see the love in me

I stare into a broken mirror and her face is all I see

Rivers of blood rain down from my eyes

Memento Mortem is screaming, screaming back at me

"Never let it be said that this watchtower fell when the Dragon rose up.
Let it be said of me and my kind that we stood firm in our wordcraft, even as the shores of Luciferia were overrun by darkness.
Let it be said of me and my kind that we did not back down when the unsinnical minions stormed the beaches of Angelicia.
We stood up: when others fell down."- Sa Amondion

Thing Is King

It seems to me that these things used to serve a greater purpose.
Am I the only one choking on my own blood down here in the gutter?
 Have we gotten better, have we really evolved beyond this thing called humanity?
Do we really think we can transcend our flesh by denying it?
Are we so foolish as to think we are alone in hell?
Has the sun really set on our empire, or have we simply become lethargic in our opulence?
I am just one machine in the fire that we call life, but is there a difference between me and you?
I call myself me, and you call yourself; me.
I fail to see only the skin of this condition.
I think the true flower is one that is inverted into the flesh from somewhere else, somewhere higher, or lower.
A post-modern world can only be inhabited by post-human beings; I stand up in defiance of this reality.
Blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, no eyes, why can't we stop trying to see and simply behold.
It seems to me that words used to mean something more than themselves.
Like a shard of stone flung outward from its home by the skillful hammer of the master mason, they used to be part of something beautiful, but now forgotten.
Can we really continue to live in this vacuum of Do This and Don't Do That, when no reason is forthcoming.
We are oppressed by the age-old fallacy; I Said So.
If we stop here, if we fall now, who would say, What A Shame?
If we keep killing ourselves by holding our heads under the water, how we can ever hope to survive in the sea?
We are shackled by a fear so profound its name is ourselves.
We buy This and we consume That, and we throw Why in the gutter and laugh.
We want to look pretty, but we never ask, What Is Pretty?
Our own faces are the hangman's mask, and our voices are this Grand Requiem.
If we don't stop digging our own graves, our minds won't last to see death.
This thing we praise so highly, the flesh that we taste so often; will die.
This place we love so much, this place we hate so much, who said it was ours?
It seems to me men used to think, and women used to talk.
It seems to me that things used to serve a greater purpose.

Tzompantli (The Nature Of Man)

Behold my tzompantli

Testament, monument of my insanity

Behold our carnality

It is carnival day, and I am hungry

Behold my tzompantli

Declaration, poetry of our ferocity

Behold our functionality

We live shortly, and rot for eternity

Metal is stronger than bone

And smoke mightier than a river

Our spirit will remain unknown

Behold my tzompantli

Surety, fortress of cruelty

Behold our animosity

We kill, destroy unquestionably

Behold my tzompantli

Mechanical, construct of conformity

Behold our aristocracy

We strive, yearn for unity

Metal is stronger than bone

And smoke mightier than a river

Our spirit will remain unknown

To The One Who Holds The Chains (Declaration of Righteous Rebellion)

We give back the words you said

We fill our coffins with the lies you bled

We have woken up

We have given you up

We break down the plans you made

We want the memory of you to fade

We have woken up

We have given you up

We want our lives to come back

We want this empire to fade to black

We have woken up

We have given you up

We see what you always were

We see what you saw in her

We have woken up

We have given you up

We have read the words that you wrote

We have seen the lives that you broke

We have woken up

We have given you up

We don't want your blood-stained glory anymore

We don't want to keep playing your pretty little whore

We have woken up

We have given you up

To the one who holds the chains, we make this declaration

We are throwing off the rusty chains of your oppression

To the one who holds the chains, we make this declaration

We are done with your lies and your thoughtless aggression

We have woken up

We have given you up

Woman

There is a song in all this sorrow

There is a light somewhere in the dark

There should be a reason to wake tomorrow

That of the woman is the breast

That shapely venom of the bleeding womb

That of the woman is the nest

That lie of the bright eyed endless tomb

There is a voice in all those whispers

There is a fire somewhere in this grey

There should be a quiet lone mistress

That of the woman is the sweet eyes

That sickly sweet song voice

That of the woman is the bitter lies

That sudden burning choice

There is smile on the face of death

There is noise in the silence

There is chill in her warm sweet breath

That of the woman is lofty grace

That sleek melodious manner

That of the woman is the kind face

That ancient mask of the sinner

There is a song in all this sorrow

There is a light somewhere in the dark

There should be a reason to wake tomorrow

That of the woman is love and kindness

That of the woman is noble power to save

That of the woman is beauty and gentleness

That of the woman is the grace of the brave

I have found the song in the sorrow

I have found the light in the dark

I have found the reason to wake up

I have covered the nakedness of her shame

I have loved despite the wretched venom

I have taken the wounds and all her blame

I have heard the lies and destroyed them

I have heard the voice through it all

I have fueled the fire into an inferno

I have stood beside the proud and tall

I have met her stare with mine

I have heard the song of the dove

I have given her all the truth that was mine

I have tried to show only love

I have seen the face of the queen

I have heard the noise in the nothing

I have smelt the perfume of roses

I have walked with her in her grace

I have held her to myself and wished a smile for her face

I have have held her hands in mine

I have tried to command time

There is a song in all this sorrow

There is a light somewhere in the dark

There should be a reason to wake tomorrow

Doubt (Inside The Box)

What if God doesn't want us to be different?
What if God really is a boy with an ant farm?
What if God didn't really give us names?
What if God really is a little girl putting her ducks in a row?

What if the Devil really is the hero of this story?
What if the Devil is really just a misunderstood artist?
What if the Devil really is the one who is hurting?
What if the Devil is really just the heart of mankind?

Where There's A Fire (Quatrain)

Where there's a fire; there is burning
Where there's romance; there is crying
Where there's a heart; there is bleeding
Where there's shouting; there is someone listening

Der Tanz Der Toten In Das Grab (Dance Of The Dead In The Grave)

My fortress is my mind; fallen and fallible

My soul is my animal; lurid and lovable

When I am sad, I do a little dance

Hold myself in my own arms

And pray for a second chance

My desire is my grave; misunderstood and miserable

My life is my journey; disillusioned and damnable

When I am sad, I sing a little song

Seat myself in my own throne

And wish all the right was wrong

My problem is my heart; immortal and incurable

My hand is my strength; little and laughable

When I am sad, I do a little dance

Hold myself in my own arms

And pray for a second chance

My hatred is my favorite; ready and reusable

My love is my enigma; unreal and unknowable

When I am sad, I sing a little song

Seat myself in my own throne

And wish all the right was wrong

Her fortress was my mind; it did not end well

Her pet was my soul; maybe I will burn in Hell

When she is sad, she does not think of me

She is held in the arms of another

She does not wonder what has become of me

Her grave would have been my desire

Her journey would have ended in fire

When she is sad, she does not sing for me

She is under the rule of no one

She will go on living, continuing to be free

Her problem was never her heart

Her strength was what drove us apart

When she is sad, she does not think of me

She is held in the arms of another

She does not wonder what has become of me

My hatred is my favorite; ready and reusable

My love is my enigma; unreal and unknowable

When I am sad, I do a little dance

Hold myself in my own arms

And pray for a second chance

Anthophobia (A Poem of Those Days When the Sun Doesn't Shine)

There is nothing so beautiful as the broken grinning skull

There is nothing so ugly as the warm loving giving soul

My heart once flew on the wings of love

We all of us fly so we can fall

There is nothing so strong as a dead decaying tree

There is nothing so weak as a clear clean shining sea

My world was once bright with life

We all of us laugh so we can cry

There is nothing so innocently wholesome as ubiquitous denial

There is nothing so sensuously obscene as a woman's smile

My dreams were once joyous and untroubled

We all of us lie so we can pretend to smile

There is nothing so comforting as the thought of eternal pain

There is nothing so unnerving as the idea of mind that is sane

My soul was once thought to be saved

We all of us pray so we can commit murder

There is nothing so blindly angelic as hate and fear and lust and all vice

There is nothing so grotesque and hellish as love given without a price

My mind was once clouded and lost

We all of us dream so we cannot think

Blind Angel

I've got a blind angel looking out for me

His mind has been made up, he can only live free

I've got a blind angel watching over me

He can only see what he wants to see

I've got an angry God on my side

He hates one thing, cuts down my pride

I've got an angry God on my side

He called to be from beyond the divide

I've got a pretty devil in my mind

Tells me of all the things I wish were mine

I've got a pretty devil in my mind

He wishes that my angel wasn't so blind

Creator

I am the miserable creator

I am the woeful desecrator

I fashion my own infernal, intolerable universe

I bring forth my own thoughts, horrid and perverse

Drop into the Hell that descends from my bowels

Soar in the Heavens that I vomit forth from my mouth

Consume me, sanctify me, release me

Destroy me, honor me, discredit me

I am the intolerable communist

I am the insufferable capitalist

I create my own system, and set myself apart

I spew forth nonsense, and think with my heart

Enter into the opulence that I paint with my blood

Stagger from the filth and squalor and maggoty mud

Consume me, sanctify me, release me

Destroy me, honor me, discredit me

I am the miserable creator

I am the woeful desecrator

Cybernetic-Generation (A Face That Does Not See)

We create our own worlds, quickly becoming a brand new abomination

We isolate, and condescend, rapidly becoming a cybernetic-generation

The masks we wear are so pristine

The smiles we flash are so plastic

The beauty we proclaim is so obscene

We shut each other out, and stare into a dancing fire, with great speed we fall from the sky

We retreat into ourselves, knowing that no one can understand, we hide the tears we cry

The lies we tell are so white

The stories we tell are so loud

The lights we hide are so bright

We write our suicide notes in binary and scream out for some sympathy

We shake our heads at those in despair and jeer at the lonely with apathy

The way we speak is so cold

The lives we bend are so lost

The lies we shout are so bold

We sing our bird song like some warrior's final breath

We look into empty mirrors thinking we can cheat death

If there is no fire in it, we will not burn

If there is no life in it, we will not feel

If there is no reason in it, we will not turn

If there is no blood in it, we will not heal

Electric Love (When Love Doesn't Mean A Thing)

A pretty little thing

She's a pretty little thing

(Hey, hey, hey)

A rotting hunk of fleshly pleasure

Simple curves, in aspect measure

(Hey, hey, hey)

She's got pretty little eyes

Pretty fiery ice-blue eyes

(Hey, hey, hey)

I want to cut them out, keep them in my hands

A love like this: the world just can't understand

(Hey, hey, hey)

A pretty little thing

She's a pretty little thing

(Hey, hey, hey)

She's got a beautiful dancing wild spirit

She's got magnetic blood, death for a poet

(Hey, hey, hey)

I want to make her still, I want to tie her down

A love like this: electric love will make you drown

(Hey, hey, hey)

A pretty little thing

She's a pretty little thing

(Hey, hey, hey)

She's got fine blood red ruby lips

She's got one rule; if it fits it ships

(Hey, hey, hey)

I want cut her down to size, make her look for the answers

A love like this: make you feel bad, make you vomit flowers

(Hey, hey, hey)

A pretty little thing

She's a pretty little thing

(Hey, hey, hey)

She's got long golden hair that's shining in the sun

She's got a hunger down in her, a lust for some fun

(Hey, hey, hey)

I want to treat her right, I make her my own little toy

A love like this: it'll torment you, suck out your joy

(Hey, hey, hey)

American Romance

Love is a feeling, a bite

Love is a beating, a fight

Love means; getting her down on her knees

Love is: getting him to do whatever you please

Love is a grand game

Its end: Control

Love is an unspoken shame

Its home: a Hellhole

He is only worth as much as his wallet is fat

She is only tastes as good as she looks

Love is just like it is in all those bloodsucker's books

He is only as worthy as he is trendy

She is only as beautiful as she pretends to be

Love is just like it is in all those movies we see

Gift Of Life

I am sailing away on a sea of bloody lost tears

I am drowning in the voices whispering of fear

But you took my hand and breathed something new into me

You took my eyes and pointed at something beautiful and free

You have given me something beyond price and measure

But you are gone away from me now and darkness take seizure

I am burning up in the fires of my own grief

I am wasting away in this hell where no one offers relief

But your name is on my lips and your love has given me a new light

You have given me something priceless and I will cherish this gift of life

16 August 2012

I remember that night very very well

That night when you shattered my dreams

That night when you cast me into hell

That night is stone on my mind

Those days following it

Are mud on my soul, stains on me

But if you could see me now, you would not like me, you wouldn't know me

If you could see me now, you would not understand that man you would see

I remember those years very very well

Those quiet days of joy and happiness

Those days rich with love's numbing spell

Those years, I thought eternity

Those days, I thought reality

Those hours, I thought ecstasy

But if you could see me now, the man I was once upon time is not that man I am

If you could see me now, you wouldn't talk to me, and I wouldn't give a damn

I am trying hard to forget you

It is not as easy as I had wished it would be

I am trying hard to forgive you

These days, are empty and dead

These days, are so hollow and grey

These days, are not what I wanted for me

But if you could see me now, you'd know that I made it out alright

If you could see me now, you wouldn't think it, but I've seen the light

It's A Good Day (When I Don't Think Of You)

It's a good day to commit emotional suicide

It's a good day to look for something I'll never find

Many times we shared a glance

But you won't ever know what I thought

Many times I tried to take a chance

But I know you would have spit it out

It's a good day to feel sorry for myself

It's a good for you to feel good about yourself

Many times we spoke and laughed

But you never knew what was on my mind

Many times we turned our noses up at witchcraft

But we never really knew what was in us

It's a good day to sit alone in the dark

It's a good day to spit out the spark

Many times we held each other close

But we never really felt one another

Many times we puffed up our little egos

But we never really knew who we were

It's a good day to forget all about you

It's a good day to find out what's true

Many times we said what we thought we felt

But we never really knew our own hearts

Many times we cried and prayed as we knelt

But we never really believed in a God out there

Peel Back The Skin (Don't Be Afraid)

Smiling Face, go on peel back the skin

Look in a mirror at your real self

And don't you dare forget to grin

Sad Face, go on peel back the skin

Look in a mirror at your real self

Now come on let all the hate come in

Beaten Face, go on peel back the skin

Look into a mirror at your real self

And know in your bones that love'll win

A mask can't smile, a polished plastic face doesn't have a soul

A smile has got a thousand words that it sings out

A little hate has got a lot of pain on paper it'd like to unroll

A bloody lip has got a one million little tears it cries out

Beautiful Face, go on peel back the skin

Look into a mirror at your real self

Indulge in what you want that little bit of sin

Pale Face, go on peel back the skin

Look into a mirror at your real self

And give your name a brand new spin

Ugly Face, go on peel back the skin

Look into a mirror at your real self

And learn to love that face within

Lipstick And Love Songs

A lot of men know what kind of a woman they want

They want a woman with beauty and skin to flaunt

A lot of women know what kind of a man they want

They want a man with deep eyes, dark hair, and gallant

A lot of people think they're looking for love in the wrong places

A lot of people think beauty is in the skin, only as deep as their faces

I just want a girl that will share lipstick and love songs with me

I just want a woman who thinks that the skin isn't the only thing to see

I just need a girl who'll dance slow and lend me her dress

I just need a woman who deserves to made into a princess

A lot of men know deep down what kind of women they desire

They desire a woman in the right black leather revealing attire

A lot of women know deep down the kind of man they desire

They desire a man with money, like a prize they can acquire

I just want a girl that will share lipstick and love songs with me

I just want a woman that sees deep down the real man inside me

I just need a girl who'll hold hand after she's painted my nails

I just need a woman who above all else believes love prevails

I just want a girl that will share lipstick and love songs with me