Fred the Aardark

There's an aardvark under my bed;

His name it's Fred, 

His favorite color it's red.

I once tried to make him dead,

By beating him with a pipe of lead.

 He asked where I would get such an idea,

I said it were my best friend Jed.

Once I tried to make him dead,

By suffocating him with a slice of bread.

He asked where I would get such an idea,

I said it were my uncle Ned.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By locking him in the shed,

He cried aloud,

"Man, you're loony in the head!!"

Oh Fred, where'd you come from?

Oh Fred, where ya gon'?

Oh Fred, why do I hate ya so?

Oh, Fred, did ya just eat my toe?

There's an aardvark in my closet,

He's name it's Fred,

His smell it' putrid,

His oder it's rancid.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By spilling lye on his head,

He asked why I would get such an idea,

I said were my father Ted.

Once I tired to make him dead,

By hitting his with a shoe,

Whatta expect me to do?

He replied by shouting,

"What's wrong with you?!"

Oh Fred, where'd you come from?

Oh Fred, where ya gon'?

Oh Fred, why do I hate ya so?

Oh, Fred, did ya just eat my toe?

Yes there's is an aardvark under my bed, named Fred!